Tom Hurtin's

Twice a year Tim's raise the living conditions of Canadians all over the country. The coffee chain teases us with the chance of winning fabulous prizes like a free coffee. In fact, all I really wanted was a free coffee or donut... but nothing. I must have bought 25 Tim's coffees during this roll up the rim season, still nothing... Furthermore, my roommate and I would be each other coffees in hope that either of us would win, at worst share half the prize. Neither of us won anything. I guess that'll teach me for buying coffees without my non-polluting takeout coffee mug.

Leon's quote of the day

S'a pousse pas dans les craques du sidewalk!!!

Veronica's quote of the day

You've got to feel the beer, just be the beer."

My kind of ride

If you have had the joy of being in Montreal during winter, you may have witnessed the snow removal parades. Before anything starts, there's a truck that drives down the street blasting the most annoying siren. This noise from hell let's car owners that that their vehicle is going to be to be towed if they don't relocate it. The joys of driving in Montreal I guess... Moments after, mega trucks pass buy to remove the snow. Following them are the mini sidewalk plowers.

At my work, where I am a waitress, I met the crew that plows my area. Of course me being me, it didn't take long before I asked the boss of the crew to let me ride one of those babies (the plowing machine not one of the guys). He said yes! The guy in the picture had the pleasure of showing me how to drive it. He didn't even care that I almost rammed into two or three cars. It was so much fun! The other day he saw me walking home and gave me a lift. Much better than public transportation.

Leon's quote of the day

"If I were a jellyfish, maybe then, I wouldn't have to pay taxes..."

Regular pee or monkey pee: that is the question.

The weather has been warm in Montreal for the last couple of days. So, this morning I told myself that I would shovel the snow off the patio in my backyard heaven.

Surprise! Great, more garbage for my collection! Oh fancy... a big bottle of beer, and what's this? A nutri-grain wrapper? Nope. ANOTHER bottle of yellow spring water!

Those poor kids next door really have no clue that you can enjoy beer. Yet they decide to buy the worst kinds (Tremblay, Black Label) and cringe after every sip. That Black Label is potent with 7.0% alc. and it tastes like monkey piss.

Now there are two bottles of yellow spring water! I can see it now, one of the unfortunate souls living next door was drinking the shit beer. All of a sudden the need to go came like a tsunami. He/she must have been waiting for minutes to use the washroom and then saw the bottle of water and voilà! Release.

At least they didn't pee in my yard. No but really though, I can't tell if it is piss. And notice how the two bottles contain liquids that are different shades of yellow. I'm not about to open the lids and smell it either. This is what I think may have happened: The cheap people of next door noticed that the beer they bought was disgusting and decided in a stupid attempt to make it drinkable to water it down.

I feel like a toonie

Writing a paper is so anti-climactic.
You stress, you don't sleep enough, don't eat enough, drink a lot of coffee, etc. The morning it's due you wake up, make a last reviews, and then you start to feel good. You print it out, go to class, give it to the teacher, and by this point you feel like a hundred bucks!
Yet, people aren't clapping.

Fuck it, just get high

I have been working on this paper for my forest management class for days now. Don't even ask me what it's about. I know what it's about. I do. Promise.
I just can't think anymore more and you know you're tired when I actually typed: "I jsu cnat' think naymore..."

Well. I better get back to writing my paper about forestry so I can have more paper to write my paper on about paper.
And so we're able to wipe all of our asses!

Leon's boss' quote of the day!

"Leon, just because nobody understands you, it doesn't mean that you're a fucking artist!"

Was it called the skip-it?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, myspace is a pain in the ass. Pour some slush onto my bare brain and that what it feels like when I have to listen to yet another little crappy band. Not forgetting regular people like Britney: "Britney <3 <3 <3 wants to be my friend! She sure looks smart! I feel so popular!"

Like the hula hoop, tie-dye t-shirts and Pokemon, myspace has come and gone. Pokemon was never one of my fads but that ankle thing with the counter that would go round sure was! I got tired of that one fast enough though.

"Myspace, we need to talk. I don't think it's gonna work. You're just too needy. It wasn't all bad, we had fun in the beginning. We went out, met some people. I just feel that we've just grown apart. You like really crappy music and that's kind of a turn off. You like hot girls and guys that offer webcam services and I'm not really into that. It's over. I'll go pick up my stuff soon."

Jazzy got her gun and ate it too

You know when you live a really charged week and by the end of it you're actually thinking of ways out. "Hey Jon let's rent a car so you can hit me with it (gently), that way I could get out of writing my exam tonight." "Or I could kill you" he said. "That way I could get out of writing MY exam! I'd be mourning my roommate!"

And then... Can't find my ID card and I need it to write my exam! By this point there were tears in my eyes. Turns out, getting another card is the easiest process in university. "I lost my card." "Here you go!"

My social problems exam was a breeze. Summer breeze... Makes me feel fine... Blowing through the... yeah yeah. One of the questions actually went like this:
Homophobia is:
a) someone that is leaving home
b) someone who is against homosexuals
c) someone who likes sex
d) someone who is against men
Thank you lazy teacher that can't think of anything more challenging to ask!

On my way home the ticket booth guy in the metro gave me a freebie on the fee cause he had to change the transfers for the bus. And when I got on the platform, guess what, the metro arrived! Wow, I am the luckiest person on Earth.

Leon's quote of the day

"I just wanna take a real heavy glove and go downtown and slap people in the face with it... or a real sloppy mitaine".

Jazzy got her gun

Monday morning, I wake up, make coffee and relax. An hour before noon, I e-mail my history professor to ask him when our book report is due (I'm thinking in like a week or so). It is noon when I get his reply: "The paper is due on Wednesday, I hope this doesn't come as a surprise..."
OMG! Surprise!

I'm freakin. Run to the metro, go to Chapter's, they're out of the book, go to the Concordia bookstore, they have it, 20$. One o'clock, take the bus home, find a cafe, park my ass down until the book is done. Six o'clock, go home eat some random student crap, aka chips, go back out, write the paper.
Ten o'clock. Done! Done? Holy shit, done!

This book has incredibly sad. However, I recommend it. The story is about a man who loses his limbs, hearing and half of his face in WWI, his mouth, nose and eyes are gone. With only his mind and no one to communicate to, his thoughts on war evolve and become increasingly negative. This work was a deep reflection on the illogic of war. The ups and downs of the story fed my stressed adrenaline levels.

Not in my heaven please

This is my backyard. As a student living in Montreal a backyard is like owning a personal piece of green heaven.

In winter we have to maintain a pathway to our composter. In doing so the shovel will hit random pieces of junk.

Junk you ask? Yes random shit that's fallen off of our neighbours second floor balcony.

"I don't remember buying a bottle of yellow natural spring water". Man, I don't even want to know what's in there! Then I find a container of Activa yogurt, seems as though the fuckers are health conscious, yeah right, it was probably on sale.

From what I can see, their balcony is a sad place to stand. Notice how the cardboard has an icicle of it. And the two-four of Tremblay. That last one sort of makes me pity them... but no.

Unfortunately, the slobs from upstairs have being doing this ever since we moved in September. They're not actually "doing this" what they are doing is not throwing out their trash like civilised people. Instead they stash it on the balcony where the wind does a fine job of carrying it onto my property.

What should I do?

Leon's quote of the day

"I feel like a big bag of mashed assholes".